I used to think that “falling out of love” was some mysterious disease that ruined half of all marriages without warning. Now, I can call B.S after being married for more than five years. I’m not an official expert on how to have a happy marriage. But I don’t think anyone falls out of love or stops loving someone.
All the nonsense and problems we have to deal with in this world can bury our love. What was once shiny and pretty no longer looked the same. This is why you sometimes take a break to rekindle your passion and remember what makes a marriage happy and successful.
Why going on trips together makes for a happier married life:
We must remember how love feels when it isn’t buried by disappointment, responsibility, or stress. And, if you think about it, going on a trip is the best way to do this. It doesn’t have to take a long time or cost much money. But you need time alone, away from the “real world” and with as few other things going on as possible.
So, in honor of our fifth wedding anniversary, here is a list of five trips that will give you time to focus on your love, laugh together, and make some fantastic memories that will help you get through the hard times and have a happy married life.
Honeymoon (Or Belated Honeymoon)
This seems like a no-brainer, but many people don’t do it, usually because they don’t have enough money or time. But it’s important to celebrate your love ALONE, especially when you’re just starting a life together.
Plan to spend time together celebrating your love and the enormous promise you made to each other. This could be for a few days, weeks, or a year. Plan something, even if it’s just to turn off your phones and stay home all weekend to watch your favorite movies and cook your favorite meals.
But I think the key is to be genuinely alone as much as possible. Don’t talk on the radio for a while. When you get back, the world will still be there. You both need some quality one-on-one time, which we think is essential for a happy marriage.
Our honeymoon was a great romantic getaway in 3 ways.
Our two-week honeymoon in Colorado rained or snowed almost the whole time (where we later moved). But, for three big reasons, it was still THE BEST TIME.
Our trip took us far away from the daily things we had to do
We could do whatever we wanted, whenever we wanted because we were on our schedule.
She was stupid in love all the time.
A Road Trip for Two
You might not think it would be fun to be stuck in a car with someone for hours. But if you do it right, a road trip with your partner can be a great chance to have some great adventures and laugh until you cry. Plus, it’s usually a cheap and easy way to do things. Just look at a map and pick a place that looks interesting that is 4–10 hours away. Then get behind the wheel (and maybe rent a cool convertible just for fun)!
How to have a great road trip with your partner:
• Music: Don’t count on the radio to give you the perfect tunes for your big getaway. Make a mix CD or a playlist of your favorite songs. Maybe a few songs from your past that make you feel warm and fuzzy, or the song you danced to at your wedding. But make sure to include some that you can sing along with. Try new things!
• Snacks: People do get hungry. This trip is a chance to fall in love again. So don’t kill each other over the last piece of cheesy pouf. Bring a lot of food and water, which is obvious.
• Patience: Don’t start yelling at your spouse because they missed a turn or forgot to get gas; now you’re stuck on the side of the road (ok, maybe try to scold for the second one lightly). When you feel like being cranky, take a deep breath and think of something fun to do. Stop anywhere and go exploring, play a game, make fun of the people driving by, have a sing-off, or do anything else but get mad at each other. (You might also want to call AAA if you’re like my husband and sometimes forget to put gas in your car.)
• Lots of stops: Sometimes, you only have a short time to get where you need to go. But if you have time, make sure to stop for lunch, look in the strange stores you pass, visit some roadside attractions, stop for a picture at every “You are now entering…” sign, etc. Choose to have fun, and then look for it. (And it wouldn’t hurt to do a little research online.)
• Silly Pictures: Don’t forget to get some nice pictures that aren’t stupid for the holiday card. But let’s be honest: the funny ones are the ones you should keep. Set the timer and jump in the air until you get the perfect shot. Make ugly faces and take pictures of the passenger when they fall asleep. Just remember as often as you can the fun parts of your trip. Bonus points for fun videos.
Why a road trip with my wife is the key to a happy marriage
Our most memorable times were when we were on road trips and sang Linkin Park songs until we lost our voices. My husband forgot to get gas before we got to the middle of nowhere, so we had to stop at the oldest gas station I’ve ever seen. We were taking funny pictures in the Petrified Forest because, for some reason, we thought there would be real trees there, but it’s more like a rock garden. I went down a one-way dirt road through the woods because it seemed like a shortcut. When I stopped to pick apples, they fell on my head. Plus a lot more!
If you go into it with the right attitude, you will be surprised at how much laughter and love can come from just a few days on the road together.
An impromptu trip
My husband and I have learned that when we start to feel less than in love, getting as far away from “real life” is essential. We live in our little world for a while until that spark has had time to regain its strength. A good marriage is like any other valuable thing: if you don’t take care of it, it will lose its value at some point.
From staying in a hotel an hour outside of town to booking a last-minute flight for the coming weekend, a little bit of spontaneity can go a long way toward making a happy marriage. It’s almost like the two of you are planning a secret heist. It is taking some time without giving a crap about what other people think.
NEVER Feel Guilty About Wanting a Good Marriage
People saying things like “Oh, that must be nice” or “You go on a lot of trips, huh?” always laugh. I’ll never feel bad about giving my marriage time and value because I care about it. And no one else should either, no matter how crazy other people’s priorities are [end of rant].
If life’s stresses put too much pressure on you and your marriage, don’t wait too long to press the pause button. Even a vacation at home can do a lot for your relationship and mental health.
Trying to “get away from it all
They lived in Iceland for two weeks in a camper van. And it was the best thing we’ve ever done (yet). Even though Iceland is a beautiful place, the best part was that it was just the two of us on a big adventure in a place we had never been before, far away from our responsibilities. Every second belonged to us. We didn’t have to tell anyone or anything else about how we felt about each other. It’s incredible how much your love will shine when there are no other things to get in the way.
A Simple and Free Way to Get Away from Everything
We LOVE hiking because it helps us clear our minds. After a few hours in nature, it’s hard to remember that there is another world. And you can pay attention to what’s important: each other.
This is something that you can get for nothing! If you do a little research, you can find many places nearby to wander. Just think what one hike a month could do to help a married couple stay happy. How great it would be to talk to people. You could give them all the help you could. Just try it!
Vow Renewal Trip
On our wedding day, we make these important promises to each other. Then we put them somewhere in the back of our minds and don’t think about them again. But we strongly suggest going back to them at least once a year.
How to surprise your partner with an event, adventure, or trip
Whether you’ve been together for two months or twenty years, there’s never a wrong time to make an ordinary day into a day you’ll never forget. You can do this by planning a surprise party, event, or getaway for your partner.
THE FACT THAT IT WAS A SURPRISE
For a romantic “surprise,” it’s essential that he doesn’t see it coming. You’ll have to tell them a little white lie to ensure they show up on time and don’t make any other plans. Set up a fake event, such as a night at the movies with friends or a surprise party for someone else (I chose to say we were going out for brunch with friends). But don’t include too many people in your plan if you don’t have to, and only give them as much notice as you need to.
PLAN SOMETHING SPECIAL
Do something you don’t usually do instead of going on a “surprise” date to a place you’ve just been. Two years ago, Blair surprised me on Valentine’s Day by taking me stand-up paddle boarding. He knew I had wanted to do it for a while, so it was a great surprise when he did it. I planned a night away for us in a hotel earlier this year. Since we live with other people, any time we have to ourselves is particular.
YOU HAVE TO THINK ABOUT EVERYTHING
Snacks, extra clothes, the right shoes, sunblock, hair ties, sunglasses, and anything else that will make them feel comfortable and that they will need for your plans. Be careful about food. For example, if you have special dietary needs, ensure that the place you’re going can meet them. If you’re getting on a plane, you might need an ID, even if you’re going somewhere in your own country. You’ll need a passport if you’re going somewhere very far away.
THINK ABOUT GIVING THEM A LITTLE HEADS UP
Even though you want to surprise them, you can still do so by telling them what they’re doing. If you’ve spent a lot of time organizing and planning something great, but you think they’d be happier if they knew what was going on, give them an hour or two, or even a night, to get ready. If my husband wanted to surprise me by taking me somewhere for the night, I’d love to know the day before. He won’t know what skin care products to bring, and he’d forget to bring the pillow I like to sleep on. Even though it’s a little too lovely, I’d be over the moon to find out that he planned everything for us.
Have a home picnic
Who says you must go to a fancy restaurant to surprise your partner with a romantic meal they’ll never forget? Instead, plan a picnic at home to surprise them. Make them their favorite meal, get their favorite wine and dessert, and then let the fun happen.
Or cook together with aphrodisiac-type ingredients
Even if you can’t eat under the stars, plan a menu full of aphrodisiacs to cook and eat together to spice things up in the kitchen (and maybe elsewhere later). Miller says, “Pick up a fun cookbook like Fork Me, Spoon Me, or Romancing the Stove.” “Let the books be the surprise, and plan a menu to cook together for a spicy night.”
Conclusion
Even though it can be nice to settle into a routine with your partner, predictability and romance don’t usually go together in the long run. Eating dinner in your gym clothes often and binge-watching TV on the couch can weaken your relationship, making what was once an exciting whirlwind romance feel more and more like a cozy friendship.
